Sunday, January 29, 2012

One Last Mitzvah Before I Go

Working with Chezzam again last night. Ten things things I learned from last nights gig:
1 Being a still statue is boring. I'm not dedicated enough to stand still. If a guests wants pics or to chat, I welcome any excuse to be a human being and not a wall hanging.
2 Walking tables are not only tacky, they are painful and humiliating. Human furniture gets treated poorly by bratty children, so said furniture pulls out teacher voice when they try and put half eaten snacks back on me. Plus the way the tables are rigged puts a lot of stress on your lower back. Not cool. (Though the macaroons were pretty tastey)
3 Trey and I could have been the awkward goofy pairs couple in one of our outfits. Character couple! Me in my velvet swing skirt and unflattering top. Him in his bowling shirt and pants. "And now performing their short program to "Rocking Robin"..." Our long program is to Carmen. He wears the mantilla and I get to be the bullfighter. But you don't know it until we reveal!
4 When in doubt and unable to hear the music over the drummers, just make everything hairography. Whether it was supposed to be or not.
5 Once again, money does not buy taste. But it does buy larger breasts.
6 There is nothing more funny than scaring young Jewish boys by asking them to dance. When they actually do dance with you, it becomes a "Pictures of Lilith" situation. Which is still pretty funny.
7 Mitzvahs are way different here. They are fairly ethnically monotoned. In the bizzare mix of Houston, the ones I went to as a kid were a poster card for ethnic diversity. Here they are poster cards for the Jersey Jew or the Long Island Hebrew. The guests all look very alike. Even down to their clothing choices and attitudes.Very different than my friend Alex's with Indian food and colors of the rainbow guests. You name it, it was there. And it danced several reels.
8 Some people will never be happy. Prime example- the mitzvah girl's mom. It was Mitzvah-zillas. Though being in multiple bad unitards means we had very little dignity left to loose.
9 I had heard about "Ice World" from the Chezzam vets. It was as bizzare as I imagined it would be. All white and silver costumes with "whimsical" white and blue makeup. Add Edward Scissorhands music and us starting off as frozen statues. Why would someone would want that at their over priced party? It's weird and creepy.

It's weird and creepy without the Tim Burton music. When throwing a party, Tim Burton does not come to mind. I'd prefer a Top Gun party. Volleyball anyone? ;)
10 An ice cold beer is amazing after a long and awkward job.
Today is my last day in Jersey for a while kicking it watching Great Performances with roomie and getting to all those last minute details of leaving for 2 months.
Tom Florida! I'm debating a celebratory drink on the plane. I haven't had a drink on a plane since they stopped using coupons. Actually having to pay for them makes them much less fun. Bon voyage everyone!


  1. Florida!?!? when will you be back? I've gotta come visit you sometime!

    1. The end of March. We close the 25, so soon after that. We must get together then!

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